Through my own unintentional experience, healing, and reflection, I have come to the point of starting this blog.
In 2018, after 23 years of marriage, I asked for a dissolution. I never wanted it to come to that. My husband was an alcoholic. Neither of us know how it came to be. At what point did he lose control of his ability to stop?
We tried everything. Counseling, clergy support, detox, rehab…..all failed. I went to Al-Anon meetings. I found them to be highly supportive, confidential, and educational groups. But I didn’t find anyone who thought like me. We had gone to counseling too late and I had already detached.
My perception of Al-Anon was that the spouses in the group believed in finding ways to save the marriage to the alcoholic. Many pledged that attending Al Anon and working on themselves instead of trying to fix the alcoholic was the secret to the success. I admired them for their commitment. They are wonderful people. Many of them found their own peace and way to “be happy” while being married. I didn’t find any that were actually “happily married”, though, unless their spouse got sober and stayed sober.
Over the last several years, I have learned a tremendous amount about the social and behavioral reality of alcoholics, both active and recovered. I’ve learned, and I am still learning, the personal results of being in a relationship with one. My spouse built a bubble around himself and I unintentionally became a part of that bubble.
This blog is dedicated to my journey of bursting out of that bubble, and finding peace, happiness, and self direction all while preparing for the challenges ahead. If you have been in a relationship with an alcoholic or are in one currently, I hope you’ll continue to visit this blog so we can learn, support, challenge and praise each other.
If you do not have a support person in your life, I encourage you to look beyond this blog. There are many resources in your community. Al-Anon is a great place to start. Or simply confide in a friend. All of us need multiple support options.