My daughter and I were both in her room one day, doing nothing in particular. We were chatting about her friends at school. One particular friend, Dee, had parents who had gotten divorced in the prior six months.
My daughter , “didn’t you say that Dee’s mom only stayed as long as she did for the kids?”
I responded, “yes, she told me that.”
My daughter, “I would never want you and daddy to stay together just because of me.”
Words from a twelve year old that certainly caught me by surprise. Prior to this, it had never been mentioned as a possibility in our house. Her dad and I never fought, and I don’t think she knew I had begun to wonder if it was the only answer.
She seemed so wise, and then two minutes later, went ahead and expressed a typical twelve year old reason…….”I mean…..I would get two sets of birthday presents and two sets of Christmas presents….,” as she smirked.
In hindsight, I still think she was very wise, and she may have seen me start spinning in my mind. Her emotional intelligence is quite high. She probably wanted to pull me back off of the road my mind started down.
No kids wants to hear their parents are getting a divorce, but at least mine was able to discuss it in a way that gave me peace.